Pervy's Picks

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please don't follow or peruse this tumblr.

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and are assumed to be in the public domain. In the event that there is still a problem or error with copywritten material, the break in the copywrite is unintentional and noncommercial and the material will be removed immediately upon presented proof.

Also ... NSFW.
THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS! AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED. AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE. AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK. AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE. WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED. BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT. THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR. AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE. AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS. I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES. THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY. WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE. WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS. I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU. HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES. UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER. TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART. HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER. I laughed so hard!! I want to send to someone and say “this is what I meant to say” but I need to write a female version. Hell to the yes.

THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!

AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.

AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.

AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.

AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.

WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.

BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.

AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.

AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.

I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.

THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.

WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.

WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.

I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.

UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.

TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.

HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

I laughed so hard!! I want to send to someone and say “this is what I meant to say” but I need to write a female version.

Hell to the yes.

(via lessonsfromthemommy)

Life is all about timing… the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable - attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It’s all about timing…

Life is all about timing… the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable - attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It’s all about timing…

(Source: twinwitch, via lessonsfromthemommy)

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

—

Once Upon A December | Anastasia

(Source: 90sjamz, via lessonsfromthemommy)

paintswithwords: I was lost ~ adrift in an angry sea ~ storm clouds blurred my vision ~ suddenly there you were ~ loving me ~ within the tumultuous storm ~ i found my refuge ~ the storm became my friend ~ paintswithwords

paintswithwords:

I was lost ~ adrift in an angry sea ~ storm clouds blurred my vision ~ suddenly there you were ~ loving me ~ within the tumultuous storm ~ i found my refuge ~ the storm became my friend ~ paintswithwords

(Source: stevepym, via lessonsfromthemommy)

OH. DEAR. LORD. thecakebar: Peanut butter cup brownie bottom cheesecake! Recipe: FOR BROWNIE CRUST 6 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter, melted 1-¼ cup Sugar 1 Tablespoon Vanilla Extract (I Used Madagascar Bourbon Vanilla) 2 whole Eggs 1 cup Flour 2 Tablespoons Flour ⅓ cups Unsweetened Cocoa ½ teaspoons Baking Powder ½ teaspoons Salt 1 cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips 1 cup Peanut Butter Chips 6 whole Peanut Butter Cups - Cut Into Quarters FOR CHEESECAKE FILLING   2 pounds  Cream Cheese, softened 5 whole Eggs, Room Temperature 1-½ cup Brown Sugar, Firmly Packed 1 cup Smooth Peanut Butter ½ cups Whipping Cream 1 Tablespoon Vanilla Extract (I Used Madagascar Bourbon Vanilla) FOR DECORATION   ½ cups  Whipping Cream 1 cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips 1 cup Peanut Butter Chips  6 Peanut Butter Cups, Cut In Half Recipe continues here!   Need more help? Contact me @thecakebar I love to help!  someone make this for me, pls? Reblogging this so i don’t lose this! yum!  

OH. DEAR. LORD.

thecakebar:

Peanut butter cup brownie bottom cheesecake!

Recipe:

FOR BROWNIE CRUST

  • 6 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter, melted
  • 1-¼ cup Sugar
  • 1 Tablespoon Vanilla Extract (I Used Madagascar Bourbon Vanilla)
  • 2 whole Eggs
  • 1 cup Flour
  • 2 Tablespoons Flour
  • ⅓ cups Unsweetened Cocoa
  • ½ teaspoons Baking Powder
  • ½ teaspoons Salt
  • 1 cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
  • 1 cup Peanut Butter Chips
  • 6 whole Peanut Butter Cups - Cut Into Quarters

FOR CHEESECAKE FILLING

 

  • 2 pounds
    •  Cream Cheese, softened
  • 5 whole Eggs, Room Temperature
  • 1-½ cup Brown Sugar, Firmly Packed
  • 1 cup Smooth Peanut Butter
  • ½ cups Whipping Cream
  • 1 Tablespoon Vanilla Extract (I Used Madagascar Bourbon Vanilla)

FOR DECORATION

 

  • ½ cups
  •  Whipping Cream
  • 1 cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
  • 1 cup Peanut Butter Chips
  •  6 Peanut Butter Cups, Cut In Half

Recipe continues here!

 

Need more help? Contact me @thecakebar I love to help!

 someone make this for me, pls?

Reblogging this so i don’t lose this! yum!  

(via lessonsfromthemommy)